Practical guide · Updated on 7 November 2026
Clearer exchanges about the children’s daily life.
A short message with a clear request is more likely to get a reply than a long one that mixes several subjects.
One subject per message
Start with the fact, then ask your question. Give a full date and do not assume what the other parent intends.
Informing or asking
“The appointment is confirmed for Tuesday at 5 pm” gives information. “Can you do the drive on Tuesday?” expects an answer. Make it obvious straight away whether a reply is needed.
Keep a record of decisions
Once a change is confirmed, add it to the shared custody calendar. Parentello brings messaging and the calendar together in one place. If communicating directly puts you in danger, an app is not enough: in an emergency in France, call 17 or 112, or text 114. The 3919 helpline listens and gives guidance outside emergencies, and the family court judge can issue a protection order (ordonnance de protection), even without a criminal complaint.
Your questions
Do I have to reply immediately?
No. Agree on a reasonable response time for everyday questions, and another way to reach each other in an emergency.
Is a tool enough when the relationship is in conflict?
No. It helps make information clearer, but it does not replace professional help. Family mediation is one form of it: the information meeting is free and, with an organisation approved by the Caf, the fee depends on your income. The APMF directory helps you find a mediator. Since 1 September 2025, the judge can also require parents to meet a mediator or a conciliator.